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Recently, after the death of young cricketer Ben Austin, I was in the car with my husband when an interview came on commercial radio. The host was speaking with a relative of Ben’s and the very first question he asked was,
“How is the family holding up?”

I couldn’t help but feel frustrated. In those raw, early days of loss, questions like that reduce grief to a snapshot or a performance.

My husband asked me what I thought the interviewer should have said instead. I definitely don’t claim to have all the answers and I know I get it wrong sometimes too, but perhaps something like:
“Tell me about Ben.”

Too often, grief is used by others for clicks, likes or sympathy that doesn’t belong to them. It can feel like sensationalising someone’s most vulnerable moments.