Navigating Grief in Those Early Days

Written By Fiona Garrivan

Grief is one of life’s most profound and personal journeys. When we lose someone we love, the world can feel like it’s standing still while everyone else keeps moving. The early days after a loss can be especially overwhelming. Emotions swing from disbelief to sadness to anger and back again. During this fragile time, even simple tasks can feel impossible. Yet, amidst the sorrow, there are small steps that can help you begin to navigate those early days of grief with gentleness and support.

The Shock and Fog of Early Grief

In the first days after a loved one passes, many people describe feeling like they’re in a fog. It’s a kind of emotional autopilot. Your body keeps moving but your mind and heart struggle to catch up with reality. This is a natural protective response. Grief is a tidal wave and our minds soften the initial impact by slowing everything down.

Some people experience forgetting things, struggling to focus or feeling emotionally numb. Others experience intense tears, anger or physical exhaustion. All of these reactions are valid. There is no “right way” to grieve, only your way.

During this time, try to give yourself permission to pause. Eat when you can, rest when you need to and ask for help with practical matters. The first few days are not about “moving on”, they are about simply getting through moment by moment.

Allowing Others to Support You

In those first few days after a loss, it can be tempting to withdraw completely. You might feel like no one could possibly understand what you’re going through. But letting others help - even in small ways - can make a world of difference.

When friends offer to cook a meal, drive you to appointments or just sit with you quietly, try to accept their kindness. Grief can feel isolating, but connection is what slowly helps you heal.

Taking Care of Yourself in the Midst of Grief

While it may sound impossible, self-care during grief isn’t a luxury - it’s essential. The body and mind both suffer under the weight of loss. Even small actions like drinking water, stepping outside for fresh air or listening to calming music can help you regain a sense of steadiness.

Try not to rush yourself to feel “better.” Grief doesn’t work on a timetable. The goal in those early days isn’t to fix anything, it’s to simply honour your emotions and take things one day at a time.

It may also help to create small rituals for yourself - lighting a candle, writing in a journal or visiting a favourite place you shared with your loved one. These gestures give form to your feelings and can become meaningful parts of your ongoing healing.

Remembering That Everyone Grieves Differently

No two people will grieve in exactly the same way. Some may cry constantly, while others feel emotionless. Some want to talk about the person who’s passed; others prefer quiet reflection. It’s all okay.

Comparing your grief to someone else’s can add unnecessary pressure. Instead, allow your own process to unfold naturally. If you need time alone, take it. If you crave company, reach out. Trust your instincts.

Moving Forward, Not “Moving On”

One of the hardest parts of grief is the misconception that you have to “move on.” In truth, you never stop loving or remembering someone who has died. The goal is not to let go but to move forward and to carry their memory into your life in a new way.

The early days of grief are tender, confusing and deeply human. There is no map for how to feel, but there is comfort to be found in connection, ritual and remembering that you are not alone.

Sometimes just knowing support exists can make a difference. There are also a range of professional support services available if you feel you need a little extra support - people who specialise in grief and can sit alongside you as you navigate your loss.

Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness - a gentle reminder that you don’t have to carry everything on your own.

Here are some of the incredible support services available

Bereavement Support Services

National Services (Australia)

Fiona Garrivan
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When to Seek Further Help When Grieving