How to Plan a Meaningful Funeral or Memorial Service
Losing someone you love is one of life’s most difficult experiences. In the midst of grief, planning a funeral or memorial service can feel overwhelming. But it’s also one of the most powerful ways to honour a life, share memories, and begin the healing process. A meaningful farewell doesn’t need to be lavish or expensive—it just needs to reflect the unique life of the person you're saying goodbye to.
Whether you're organising something traditional or completely unique, this guide will help you plan a funeral or memorial service that feels personal, thoughtful, and genuinely heartfelt.
1. Understand the Difference: Funeral vs Memorial
Before you begin planning, it’s good to understand the key difference between a funeral and a memorial service.
A funeral typically happens soon after death and usually includes the body or ashes being present. It often takes place in a chapel, church, crematorium, or funeral home.
A memorial service is generally held after the burial or cremation and doesn’t require the remains to be present. These are often more flexible, giving you time to plan something more personal or relaxed.
Both serve the same purpose: to gather, remember, and celebrate a life.
2. Start with What Matters Most
A meaningful service begins with one important question: What would they have wanted?
Were they religious, spiritual, or non-religious? Did they love the beach, their backyard, or a particular park? Were they formal or easy-going? The best services are those that reflect the personality and values of the person who has died.
Ask close family and friends for stories, songs they loved, places they enjoyed, or things they said often. Use these as the building blocks for your planning.
3. Decide on the Type of Service
There are lots of ways to structure a farewell. Here are a few options:
Traditional funeral – Often led by a religious leader or funeral director, includes eulogies, prayers or readings, and possibly a wake afterward.
Celebration of life – A more upbeat gathering focusing on joy, stories, and memories. These are often informal and held in parks, gardens, homes, or community halls.
Private family service – Small, intimate services with only close family and friends.
Scattering ceremony – A short ceremony where ashes are scattered in a meaningful location.
Themed farewell – You can base the service around something they loved—music, football, travel, or art. Anything goes if it feels right.
Remember, there’s no ‘right’ way to say goodbye. Do what feels meaningful for your family.
4. Choose the Right Location
The setting can set the tone for the whole service. Some meaningful options include:
A local beach or park
A backyard or family home
A community hall or RSL
A chapel or place of worship
A favourite café, restaurant, or pub
Scenic spots like the Botanic Gardens or near a river or lake
Outdoor memorials are especially popular for those who loved nature. Just be sure to check for permits if needed.
5. Who Will Lead the Service?
You have a few choices here:
A celebrant: Experienced in creating personalised, heartfelt ceremonies that aren’t religious (unless requested). A great choice for relaxed and meaningful services.
A religious leader: If your loved one had a faith, this may feel like a natural option.
A friend or family member: For a very personal touch, someone close to the person can lead the service. Just make sure they’re comfortable speaking in public.
A good celebrant or officiant can help craft the whole ceremony, write scripts, and guide you through the process. They can also help you include important legal or cultural elements, if needed.
6. Add Personal Touches
Here’s where you can get creative and make the service truly reflect your loved one:
Music: Choose songs that meant something to them. Live music can be particularly moving.
Photos and videos: Slideshows, memory boards, or video tributes are beautiful ways to reflect on their life.
Eulogies: These speeches honour the person’s life. One or several people can speak.
Readings: Poems, quotes, letters, or even favourite book passages work well.
Symbolic rituals: Lighting candles, releasing balloons or petals, planting a tree, or scattering ashes.
Don’t feel pressured to include everything—just pick what resonates most.
7. Consider Keepsakes and Memory Ideas
Many families like to offer something small for guests to take home. These could include:
A printed order of service with photos and a short bio
Bookmark with a favourite quote
Packets of seeds to plant in their memory
A song list or playlist
Memorial candles
You could also set up a memory table or guestbook, where people can write down stories or messages. This is often a cherished keepsake for the family later on.
8. Keep It Simple (If That’s What You Need)
You don’t need to spend a fortune to create a beautiful farewell. Meaningful doesn’t mean expensive. A quiet morning in the garden with close friends, a thermos of tea, a few stories, and their favourite music can be just as powerful as a formal service.
There are also celebrants and companies that specialise in low-cost, stress-free memorial services across Australia. They help families create something special without the big price tag.
9. Get Help If You Need It
Planning a funeral or memorial during grief can be incredibly hard. You don’t have to do it alone.
You might:
Ask friends or family to help with logistics, music, catering, or speaking.
Hire a celebrant to guide and support you.
Use a funeral director, or go direct to a crematorium and then plan your own memorial later.
Get help from local support groups or grief counselling services.
You are allowed to ask for help. And it’s okay if things aren’t perfect—the love and intention behind the day are what truly matter.
10. Give Yourself Time to Grieve
Lastly, remember that the funeral or memorial is just one step in your grief journey. Take time after the service to rest, reflect, and reach out to others who loved the person too. Everyone grieves in their own way—and there’s no timeline.
Whether you organise something big or small, formal or informal, traditional or unique—the most important thing is that the service reflects the person you're remembering. If it’s filled with love, then you’ve done it right.
Need a hand?
If you're feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to start, working with a professional celebrant can take a huge weight off your shoulders. They can help craft a beautiful, meaningful ceremony that honours your loved one in a heartfelt and personal way—wherever and however you choose to gather.
You don’t need to do it all on your own. Help is out there, and you're not alone in this.