Are You Organising a Wake? Things to Think About
Losing someone you love is never easy, and when it comes time to plan their farewell, there’s a lot to think about. Beyond the ceremony itself, many families choose to hold a wake — a gathering where people can come together, share stories, and remember the person who’s passed. It’s a time for connection, reflection, and often, celebration of life.
If you’re in the midst of planning a wake, you might be wondering where to start and how to make it meaningful without it becoming overwhelming. Below are some practical and heartfelt tips to guide you through organising a wake that truly honours your loved one.
1. Understanding What a Wake Really Is
Traditionally, a wake was a vigil held before a funeral, where family and friends would stay with the deceased overnight. These days, a wake has evolved into a post-funeral gathering — a time to share memories, comfort one another, and celebrate the person’s life in a more relaxed setting.
In the context of Melbourne funerals, wakes can be as formal or as casual as you like. Some people choose a sit-down meal at a favourite restaurant, while others prefer an informal gathering at home or in a local park. The key thing to remember is that there’s no “right” way to hold a wake — it’s about what feels appropriate for your loved one and your family.
2. Choosing the Right Venue
The venue sets the tone for the entire wake. Depending on the number of guests and the atmosphere you want, you could consider:
A family home: Warm, familiar, and cost-effective. Perfect for smaller gatherings.
A community hall or function room: Ideal if you’re expecting a larger crowd and want space for speeches or slideshows.
A local pub or club: Many Melbourne funerals are followed by wakes at a local RSL or favourite bar — a relaxed setting where people can raise a glass and reminisce.
A park or garden: For an outdoor wake, especially during Melbourne’s warmer months, consider spots like the Royal Botanic Gardens or your loved one’s favourite picnic area.
When choosing, think about accessibility for guests, parking availability, and whether catering or facilities (like microphones for speeches) are provided.
3. Catering and Refreshments
Food brings people together, especially in times of grief. Whether it’s a simple afternoon tea or a full meal, catering helps create a comforting atmosphere.
If you’re organising catering yourself, think about your loved one’s favourites — maybe Nan’s famous sponge cake or Dad’s go-to BBQ spread. Some families even include their loved one’s favourite drink in the toast, making it a sweet tribute.
Many venues that regularly host funerals in Melbourne offer wake catering packages, so you don’t have to stress about logistics. Just make sure to consider dietary requirements and provide both non-alcoholic and alcoholic options if drinks are being served.
4. The Tone of the Event
A wake doesn’t have to be sombre. In fact, many families now choose to make it a true celebration of life. Think about the personality of the person you’re honouring. Were they serious and traditional, or cheeky and fun-loving?
You can reflect this through music, decorations, and how you invite guests to share memories. For example:
Play their favourite songs in the background.
Create a slideshow of photos from throughout their life.
Encourage people to share funny or heartwarming stories.
Set up a “memory jar” where guests can write down their favourite moments.
Melbourne’s celebrants and funeral venues are familiar with all kinds of styles — from quiet reflection to colourful, joyous gatherings. Whatever you choose, make sure it feels authentic to your loved one’s spirit.
5. Timing and Invitations
Traditionally, a wake takes place right after the funeral service, but it doesn’t have to. Some families prefer to hold it a few days or even weeks later, giving everyone time to breathe and prepare.
When inviting guests, you can include wake details in the funeral notice or share them privately with close friends and family. If you’re hosting a large wake, consider asking for RSVPs to help with catering and seating arrangements.
Remember, funerals in Melbourne can attract guests from across the state or even interstate, so choosing a central or easily accessible location can make things easier for everyone.
6. Personal Touches That Make It Special
The best wakes are the ones that feel personal. Here are some thoughtful ideas to make the gathering more meaningful:
Photo boards or slideshows: Gather pictures from different stages of your loved one’s life.
Memory tables: Display treasured items — hobbies, books, medals, or mementos.
Guest book or message cards: Let guests leave written messages for the family to read later.
Music playlist: Compile songs that meant something to your loved one or reflect their personality.
Donations in lieu of flowers: If your loved one supported a cause, encourage guests to donate in their honour.
Many Melbourne funerals now incorporate these small but powerful gestures that make the wake feel like a true reflection of the person being remembered.
7. Considering Budget and Practicalities
Planning a wake doesn’t have to break the bank. Start by setting a realistic budget and prioritising what matters most — whether that’s good food, the right venue, or professional help.
If you’re working with a funeral director or celebrant, they can often connect you with affordable local venues or caterers. Some even include wake coordination as part of their service for Melbourne funerals.
You can also reduce costs by:
Hosting the wake at home.
Asking guests to bring a plate (a very Aussie and heartfelt approach).
Using digital invites instead of printed ones.
The goal isn’t to impress — it’s to create a warm space for connection and remembrance.
8. Getting Help from Professionals
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you don’t have to do it alone. Many funeral directors and celebrants in Melbourne can help organise wakes, from booking venues to arranging catering and decorations.
A funeral celebrant in Melbourne can also assist in planning the tone of the event and even lead a short tribute or toast during the wake. Having someone to guide you through the process ensures the day runs smoothly and allows you to focus on being present with loved ones.
9. Looking After Yourself
Amid the planning and logistics, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Grief can be exhausting, and it’s okay to ask for help or delegate tasks to friends and family.
The wake is not just for others — it’s also for you. It’s a chance to see how much your loved one was cared for, to hear stories you may not have known, and to begin healing through connection.
If you find yourself struggling after the wake, consider reaching out to grief support services available through funeral providers in Melbourne or community organisations. Talking about your loss can help you process the emotions that come with saying goodbye.
Final Thoughts
Organising a wake can feel daunting, especially when you’re grieving, but it’s also an opportunity to create something truly meaningful. Whether you choose a simple afternoon tea or a lively celebration at a favourite Melbourne spot, what matters most is that it reflects your loved one’s life and gives people a space to connect, remember, and heal.
Every wake — like every person — is unique. Take your time, trust your instincts, and lean on others for support. In the end, it’s the love and shared memories that will make the day special.