Regardless of the circumstances of anyone’s death, we do not need to know this information. They only reason we want to know is to satisfy our own natural curiousity. It doesn’t change the fact that someone has died.

In this digital age, we all rush to Social Media to express how we are feeling.

Our natural reaction when learning of someone’s death is to pay tribute to them on our social networks. Please, please, please, do not do this until the family has done so.

They may not be ready for the influx of messages or taking on other people’s grief. In those early days there is so much to process. And whether you make a tribute immediately or in a few days time, it won’t change the fact that the person has died.

Over the years, I have heard a lot of people say their pet peeve is a celebrant getting up and talking about the person who died, as if they knew them better than anyone in the room.

For some families they don’t want me sharing their person’s story. They want to share it themselves.

Recently, I had an experience of driving with a funeral procession on a short drive from a service to a cemetery, for a burial.

We were in a line of about 10 cars when an unconnected driver became visibly frustrated with having to slow down.

I know there could have been many things going on for that driver at that moment, but it has prompted me that perhaps we all need reminding of what to do if we encounter a funeral procession.

Funerals have changed dramatically in the last decade.

Not that long ago, they followed a very standard procedure.

Often mourners wore black,

Most funerals were burials

Religion played a big part and there were very few personal touches.

In this episode of the podcast, I have a wonderful chat with Stan Commings who is almost 94 years young!

Stan dedicated his working life to working in the funeral industry. People like Stan paved the way for those of us who work in the industry now. And I really enjoyed hearing his stories.

We have so much to learn from history but it is also fascinating to see how things have changed.

This conversation was a lovely reminder to me, of how important it is to capture and preserve the thoughts and memories of our older generations. And how recording stories leaves a legacy of living history for future generations. And I would like to thank Stan for sharing his stories with me.

In this episode of the podcast, I have a wonderful chat with Rebecca Lyon

Rebecca is an Independent Funeral director based in Tasmania who works in the area of Home Based death care and family led funerals

She is also the founder of You N Taboo, a local Tasmania Initiative, dedicated to promoting and dispelling some of the taboos around death and dying to encourage a healthier culture around death and Helping to make the conversation about death and dying, just another part of life.

In this rich conversation with have a frank and honest chat about Home Based death care.

Many people don’t realise that choosing to spend time – whether that’s a short time or a longer period, with a loved one who has died, in their home, is an option available to them. Many think it’s illegal to keep a body at home and believe the process may be too difficult.

And although this option may not appeal to everyone, it is important to know that our loved ones CAN be cared for at home, after they die allowing their family to be an integral part of the death and funeral process and giving them precious time prior to their funeral.

We have a great chat about whats involved in this model of care and how a supportive funeral director may help with the more difficult parts of the process.

Rebecca’s wonderful Tedx Talk titled “three steps into the Heart of Home Funeral” provides a wonderful insight into moving death and dying back into the home – where it was common practice for hundreds of years.

And how it can change the grieving process.

Although the requirements around after-death care and Home Based death care do vary from state to state, this is a wonderful conversation. so that we can make better informed choices about the options available

I hope you find this as informative as I do.

In this episode of the podcast I talk to the lovely Dr Annetta Mallon from Gentle Death Education and Planning about Advance Care Plans.

During our conversation we discuss why Advance Care Plans are so important and how they allow you to think about and document your wishes should you be unable to make those decisions yourself.

Advance care plans are not only for the elderly or the unwell. They are important things to think about at any age.

All of us are different and we need to ensure that our values and preferences around living and dying are documented, so those preferences can be adhere to.

Dr Annetta Mallon

End of Life conversations are tough conversations to start.

We tend to avoid them because we don't want to cause upset, often we don't want to face reality and they may bring up uncomfortable emotions.

Anne supported her partner Greg through his cancer diagnosis and his treatment. But following a terminal diagnosis, they had to learn how to live in the face of death.

Throughout their life together, Anne and Greg discussed everything, so it seemed only natural that following Greg's terminal diagnosis that their discussions included his end of life care. They also spent time planning his funeral and how he want his life to be celebrated and remembered.

For Anne and Greg there was nothing left unsaid. They spent time together making practical preparations for Greg's death.

What a gift this has been for Anne. She felt confident that every decision she made, was exactly as Greg wanted it.

When someone dies the shock and grief can make decision making more difficult. But conversations prior to death, can be an act of love and help soften some of the anguish for those left behind

This is Anne & Greg's story.

In this episode of the podcast, I have a chat to Katie Anne from a charity called Jacinta’s Smile is passionate about helping those suffering the loss of a sibling for bereaved children and young adults.

Katie Anne knows too well the grief when a sibling dies. In an extraordinary set of circumstances, she has experienced it 3 times with the death of her brother Declan when she was a child, and her sister Jacinta and her brother Fintan when she was an adult.

Sibling grief is a forever process and there are so many different parts of your life that it touches.

Siblings are people that you grow up with. They are a part of your life from the beginning. You don’t remember life without them and there is an expectation they will always be there in the future

When a sibling dies, those bonds are shattered and that shared history has a void that cannot be filled.

This episode of Deadly Serious Conversations is on the topic of Voluntary Assisted Dying.

" Voluntary Assisted Dying" is the term given in Australia, referring to the assistance given by a health practitioner to a person to end their life.

The term “voluntary” assisted dying emphases the voluntary nature, of the choice, of the person and their enduring capacity to make this decision.

Put simply, Voluntary Assisted Dying, means that some adults, can now ask for medical help to end their life, if they have a disease or illness, that is so severe that it is going to cause their death and their suffering cannot be relieved in a manner that is tolerable to them.

Victoria was the first state in Australia to pass legislation allowing Voluntary Assisted Dying to happen.

There is a very specific eligibility criteria for VAD and it is not available to everyone.

In this conversation with Cheryl, we talk about her and her dad Jim’s experience when he availed of the VAD programme earlier this year.

This is Jim’s story and it is definitely worth listening to so we can all learn more about VAD.

In this episode of the podcast, I chat to the lovely Karin from Heavenly Catering. 

Karin has over 20 years experience as a caterer for wakes and celebrations of life. Through her catering company Heavenly Catering, she helps co-ordinates gatherings of any size and in any location, including church halls, private homes, and funeral function centres. Using her experience she has written a beautiful book called “Where there is a will, there is a wake”.   It is a great little resource whether you are preparing for the death of someone close to you or whether you are creating your own funeral and wake plan.  

Karin has written this book to support anyone who is wanting to own their own end of life choices, so that you can go your own way, taking the pressure and stress away from your family and friends and to create funerals and wakes that truly reflect the life you are celebrating. 

I hope this chat gives you some food for thought.  

It has always been my goal for Deadly Serious Conversations, to normalise tough conversations.

October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. As a society we don’t like to talk about uncomfortable and difficult things.

This is an area that I really believe we need to become more comfortable.

The discomfort that accompanies stillbirth, leaves many parents feeling alone with their pain.

We all have a responsibility to learn and understand about pregnancy & infant loss. Thankfully, the culture around baby loss is slowly changing but no parent should ever feel that their child is an “uncomfortable” subject.

In reality all of us have the potential to be touched by stillbirth in some way.

Still born births are more common than we think.

1 in 6 babies born in Australia every day are still born. The numbers are staggering. And yet it is still such a taboo topic.

Behind every statistic is a story.

In this episode of the podcast, Bree Amer Wilkes shares her story about her son Archie, who was stillborn.

Bree shares her personal perspective on the loss of a baby and we discuss ways to offer support to anyone impacted by pregnancy and infant loss.

Archie may have been stillborn but he is still loved.

On this episode of the podcast, I have a chat to Belinda Jane from Belinda Jane video. Belinda and her wonderful team, work behind the scenes in creating all the audio and visual tributes to personalise funerals, such as Music, Order of Services, Memorial cards, bookmarks, Reflections of life slideshows and in more recent times, funeral recording and live streaming.

We have a great chat on how funerals have changed and how live streaming has made this challenging time during COVID a little bit easier.

We also talk about music and what families should avoid if they are organizing their own photos slideshows.

Belinda shares so much insight to what goes on behind the scenes, so sit back and enjoy listening to this episode.

On this episode of the podcast, I have a chat with John Slaytor, funeral photographer.   Funeral Photographer is a genre of photographer that we don’t hear talked about a lot.  For some people this concept may seem disrespectful or even morbid. 

But through the course of conversation, John shares with us the concept that his clients felt he “was their eyes when they couldn’t see with grief”. 

We have a lovely conversation about the kindness and compassion that is often seen at funerals and how important these images may be one day in years to come. 

Shots of Fireball, singing Karaoke live music, tears and laugher.

The was Sarah's swan song.

Sarah was only 34 when she died suddenly leaving her family and friends reeling in shock.

She lived life to the full. She love performing, travelling and having a good time.

Her loved ones didn't know where to start in planning her farewell. But what they did know is that a traditional funeral would really upset her.

Sarah's swan song allowed her loved ones to honour her and her love of life in a really authentic way.

People often ask me how I got into funerals and I attribute these two amazing humans to leading me to this path

For many years, funerals in most cultures, have remained quite sombre , very traditional and very conservative affairs.

But the funeral industry as we know it in Australia, is going through some significant changes in the last number of years.

In this episode, I have an absolutely wonderful chat with Annie Bolitho.

Annie is the author a beautiful book called "Death a love project".

It is a great resource for anyone who is having to think about decisions about their own death or for someone they love, before they meet with a funeral director.

We also chat about all sorts of things including Death cafes, the use of ritual in ceremony, zoom funerals and we explore how funerals can look different from one family to the next.