Fiona with son

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory” 
Dr Suess

As a funeral celebrant, last week I conducted the funeral of a 44 year old wife and mother of 4 kids who sadly died much too soon.

During her beautiful service, we played 3 audio visual tributes with music and photos, so many of the photos displayed were of Nadine and her children. This got me thinking about which photos my family would use given the same situation, as I don't think there would be enough photos for even one photo tribute.

As a mother of 2 children myself and a keen photographer, I have 1000’s of photos but sadly very few with me in them.

As mothers we are a big part of our children’s lives but in very few photos.

Fiona with children

And I am not alone…

I know lots of mums who are the family’s unofficial photographer, and who take lots of photos of the family on various occasions but often find a reason not to be in the photo.

We are our own worse critic and can easily come up with an excuse “I will take the photo”, “I look too tired” “I’m in my old clothes” “I need my hair done” “I feel frumpy”.

Not every photo needs to be perfect.  Social media has made us a little obsessed with making sure that every picture is perfect.  And I am guilty of deleting photos because I don't think I look good in them.

(This is the perfect example - I had just washed my hair and it’s still wet).

Fiona with children

As Nadine’s children sat there watching their lives with their mum flash before them, they didn’t care that she didn’t have make up on, or perhaps wasn't looking her best.  All they could see was how much she loved and adored them. Memories that they will treasure forever.

Fiona with daughter

One day, we won’t be here and the least we can do is leave our children some photographic evidence that we were there with them too.It can be hard to savour the moment when you think there will be many more.  We think there will be a next time – but what if there is no next time.

Fiona with son

We really need to make an effort to be in more photos, do it for our children and how you want them to remember you.

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Funerals without hugs

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Doing Death Differently