Living Wakes and Funerals
In recent years, a new trend has emerged in the realm of farewells - the concept of living wakes and funerals. Traditionally, these events were solemn occasions held after a person's passing, offering an opportunity for loved ones to pay their respects, share memories, and find closure. However, the shift towards celebrating life while the person is still present is gaining traction, challenging conventional notions of how we say farewell.
Living wakes and funerals bring a fresh perspective to the often somber affair of saying goodbye. Instead of waiting until after someone has passed away, these events provide an opportunity for individuals to experience the love, appreciation, and gratitude of friends and family while they are still alive. It's a celebration of life that allows the honoree to witness the impact they've had on others and participate in the collective expression of love and nostalgia.
One key aspect of living wakes and funerals is the emphasis on positivity and joy. Traditional funerals often focus on grief and loss (and for some funerals this is very important). In contrast, living wakes encourage an atmosphere of celebration, fostering a sense of appreciation for the person's life and achievements. Attendees share anecdotes, express gratitude, and celebrate the milestones that have defined the individual's journey.
These events can take various forms, ranging from intimate gatherings with close friends and family to larger affairs where the person's entire community comes together. The setting is often more relaxed, allowing for laughter, storytelling, and the sharing of fond memories. It's a departure from the hushed tones and heavy hearts associated with traditional funerals, providing a more uplifting experience for everyone involved.
Living wakes also offer the chance for the person to actively participate in the event, sharing their thoughts, reflections, and even creating lasting memories. This active involvement not only contributes to a more positive atmosphere but also allows the individual to shape the narrative surrounding their life, ensuring that the focus remains on the joyous moments and meaningful connections they've made.
Some may argue that living wakes might be too emotionally challenging for the individual facing their mortality. However, others may feel that it can be a powerful and cathartic experience, providing an opportunity for open conversations about life, death, and the impact we have on others. It can serve as a platform for individuals to express their wishes and find solace in the love and support of those around them.
In the last 10 years I have seen massive changes in cultural attitudes towards death and farewell rituals.
People are now reconsidering the traditional approaches to funerals and are embracing the idea that celebrating life is as important as acknowledging its end.
I recently interviewed Paul and Tim who organised their mum Maryanne’s living wake, and in this episode of Deadly Serious Conversation, you will hear their first-hand experience of organising such an event.